Guess its been awhile since I last log in. Many times I have wanted to come in and post what I feel but its seems as if I don't have any mood to do anything.My feelings and emotions is going up and down like a yoyo. My emotions have been so bad till some of my friends were worried. One of them even asked if I have been dumped by my boyfriend.

Guess every relationship will encounter problems sooner or later. I guess I am not a perfect girlfriend. Eversince he met me he has been perfect. Though at times I have my doubts but it maybe its mainly coz I feel insecured. I should not have any doubts about him as he has changed for the best.

Guess the problem is ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! Sometimes I feel I don't deserve him. many times I wanted to let it go. But when I think about my life without him, I feel so dead inside. Each time I want to end it, but I ended up being unable to mean it.

Nowadays we spent less time with each other. For me, coz I have my studies and also many things to do. For him, its coz his laptop is too old and there are many games he can't play so we can't spend much time ingame as before. I feel rather lonely. We spend less time on the phone as I do not want him to waste too much money on phone credit. Haiz I really don't know what to do.

I love him so much till it hurts. But one day I will really need to make a decision about it.