Walking and talking zombie

Wow it has been so many days I did not update my blog. Reason? These past few weeks have been a bad week for me. Why am I feeling as if my depression is back to attack me again? I thought I have overcome it but here I am feeling almost the same few years back after my parents passed away. I am feeling the wall that I have overcome so many years ago is back to torment me. I don't know why all of a sudden these feelings are back.

Could it be because of my studies or my family? Everyday I am being blamed for my past mistakes even when I do not repeat the same mistakes again, they will sure to bring it back and remind me. No one is perfect!! I think compared to some other teenager I am much better as I am able to do many things some teenagers are not able to do exp. cooking, housekeeping, ironing even helping to take care of a sick old man. What more do they want me to be? 

All I could do is keep quiet. But when I keep quiet, they'll say they are talking to the wall. If I answer back they'll say I am an ungrateful child. If I get angry, they'll beat or pinch me. So what can I do? Sometimes to avoid them I will lie down on my bed at stare at the ceiling. I don't want to be like this. I am scared. I don't want to be depressed anymore. I want to tell myself I am through with depression. But am I really that strong? Can I make it through?