Posts

Even if I do not want to...

Yes. I know because of all these posts but I just can't help it. I have no

where or anyone to turn to. By posting, I feel as if a slight

burden have been lifted...

Oh!!! This is so true. Just the right words from my heart. Ever since that

day I have always wondered if you feel it too. Even if it's just for awhile...

All these years together...

I do not believe there aren't ...

Emotions

Now you see me Now you don't

To outsiders I may look like a happy go lucky girl but deep inside nobody knows I am dying. The only place I can really be myself is on my blog or my page.

Silent Tears

It's so torturing when u have to cry in silent. All those pent up emotions bursting on the brim. No one to talk to... No one to share my feelings...My pillow are full of tear stains from the nights I cry myself to sleep. Only my pillow can hear my screams. The nights when even crying was not helping at all and so I had to scream onto my pillow...Every night... the memories are the worst when I am lying on my bed...

Poetry and Poems

Yes I love poetry. I hope one day I would be able to write my own poetry. But meantime I will share others posts instead. What I post is how I feel when I am writing my blog. 

By ~Musings of a Poetic Soul~

I will never forget the way
   you made me feel...

           ...Like I was everything.


And I will never forget the way
   you made me feel...

           ...Like I was nothing

By Antonio M Arce

Empty Shell Of Me

You may see me as whole but in actual fact I am just an empty shell. Normal on the outside but dead inside...

Bitter Taste

  

It's so hard... so hard not to go back on my words... I told him I will not contact him anymore but each time I am on my facebook I had to force myself not to click on his profile to see if he posted anything or how he is doing. 

Damn... I really need something to distract my mind. I wonder how some people can get over a breakup... 

Closure

This time it's for real. No matter how much it hurts to let go... This is what he wanted so it's no point holding on when he definitely doesn't have anymore feelings for me. It's better to leave while we are still in good terms rather than it being on bitter terms. 

It was the hardest thing to say when I told him I am letting him go. I am sure he is glad I am doing this. This time he totally have no more commitments and he do not have to hide whatever he's doing anymore. I am very sure now he is happy.

As for me... woke up this morning and he is still the first thing on my mind. It's like a knife cutting me up. But I told myself it's for the best. For him so he can achieve what he wants and for me so I could move on. 

The Pain...

Sad Posts

I don't have the strength anymore...

Even if I want to... where can I run too? Whom can I run to?

The pain... it numbs my whole being...

The beginning was always the best... everything seemed so perfect. You'd think you can overcome any obstacle thrown at you. Because when you are in love... you are blind. Everything you do, every word uttered means so much because you're in love. But in the end? Shattered dreams... No more hopes... Insomnia... Nightmares... Waking up in the middle of the night crying till you go back to sleep with tears on your pillow...

I should have seen that coming...it's my fault for being so naive...

Nope... nowadays I can't even smile...

Will anyone even noticed if I am gone?

Help

         

I need help!! I really don't know what I am supposed to do. I am so lost... I thought by writing how I feel would help ease my pain but instead it brings back memories and its hurting so much more knowing what a stupid fool I am...

Posts

Yes My wall is back. It's getting higher and thicker than before...

You told me before you will always be there for me. You know what I was going through... All the empty promises that you gave to me so willingly...

Yes I feel like an empty shell now. It did not just died that day. It died ever since that day till now...

I hope u never have to feel what I am feeling now...

Game Over

I should have seen it coming but I have myself to blame. I didn't want to believe that he will leave me sooner or later. In my past blog I did say that he has changed and he really did. I told myself to believe that love can overcome anything. Boy... was I wrong. Thinking that he would change and try to love me more... what a joke!

Why tell me about his past when he does the same to me?  I thought by telling me his past, he won't repeat the same mistakes but I guess not. What do u expect from a rich guy who was a playboy before he met me? I guess now that he has started working and he has more opportunity to do what he likes or want. 

Why he tells me he loves me today and tomorrow he wants to break up? It's such a JOKE!!! Why must he play with my feelings? Maybe I am just a game for him. Now he is out to find a new game... and I am GAME OVER!!!

I Need A Closure

                                               

                                                            


Hi to those of u who still visits my blog. Sorry for not posting anything for so long. Life has not been kind to me especially at present. 

The person I trusted and believed in most have betrayed me. He kept hiding things from me but told me he did not hide anything from me. Its so hard. I want to believe what he said but evidences proves likewise.

He told me he is sorry for wanting to end this relationship. After so many years now he tells me this. He said he does not want any relationship as now he wants to concentrate on his job and also to find his meaning of life. He said if I want I can put all the blame on him. 

I still love him. It's breaking my heart like never before. I feel suffocated. I feel useless. I really don't know what to do. He is my world. He is everything to me. He has always been the only person who cared for me. No one cares for me. Not my family. Not my friends. Now I don't even know if I have any true friends as I feel no one cares if I am broken or not. 
I am such a fool for always believing what he tells me. But what can I say. Love is blind. I am not strong. He keeps asking me to be strong. How can I be strong if I am the one who is hurt? I have no one to rely on. No one to talk about my problems. Some nights I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to die. I can't eat well... I can't sleep well... I feel numb...

Everyday I had to hide myself and cry. Cried as if my heart is broken. Dear Lord... please help me... I am so lost...